My name is Marie.
I am 44 years old and I would like to share my story with you.
I recently paroled from prison — Jan. 26, 2010 to be exact. It has been a very interesting eight- and-a-half months.
At the time of my parole Kent County did not have a place for women without drug problems to parole to. So they paroled me to the Guiding Light Mission, but being from Grand Rapids, I knew they only took men.
So, I lived at the Mel Trotter Ministries Facility for seven months. Through this process God has been carrying me.
Men have several places to parole to and go through to obtain work. The major one is the Exodus program run through Hope Network. They actually help place the men in jobs and pay the employer half of the felon’s pay for 60-90 days.
The women are sent to the Women’s Resource Center, which is a very nice place, but does not have the same ability to help us as the men are afforded through Hope Network.
One of my biggest obstacles at first was obtaining my birth certificate. I was adopted at six years old.
Due to this my birth certificate had to be obtained from Lansing.
This process took eight weeks.
Without this you cannot get your driver’s license or social security card, which makes getting anything else impossible. There are organizations that help you with the costs and paperwork associated with getting your birth certificate. Inmates really need to be hooked up with these organizations while still in, so the waiting period is over upon their release.
Mentoring is a huge part of helping someone coming out of prison. If I did not have the strong Christians mentor in my life to lean on during this process, the odds are I would have been right back in prison.
Being a mentor is the best gift you can give someone right out of prison. We have so many doors slammed in our face that we need someone just a phone call away who we can vent to — one or two people who we know really do care for us and are not judging us.
Mary, my mentor, was there to take me out for coffee after being told I did not get the funding for housing. It was very frustrating, because someone I had been talking to the phone had messed it up.
I talked to his supervisor and she did some digging and called me back to say I was right. She proceeded to offer me a program that was a quarter of what I would have gotten before. I had been in the mission for four months at that point and was ready to live on my own.
God carried me through that and proceeded to gift me Section 8 (subsidized housing). You are only supposed to stay at the mission for two months, but the director of the mission allowed me to stay longer, because she knew by the phone calls she received every week I was doing what I needed to do to move out.
I have learned that women in prison are usually there due to the lack of self-esteem or self worth. We end up this way due to years of physical, mental, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. I am no exception.
We usually end up making unhealthy choices in life due to this. Before going to prison, my husband was so controlling, I literally walked behind him with my head down. I would not have eye contact with anyone.
He was using crack; I thought he was gambling. I was very naive.
He spent the money so fast that I looked for the quick fix and chose to embezzle from my employer.
The biggest obstacle women need to overcome coming out of prison is to learn to love themselves as much as God loves them.
You don’t choose to let people hurt you or hurt yourself when you look at the choices through Him. When we come out, many churches or “church people” treat us as if we have a disease they can catch by “sitting too close to us or befriending us.”
The change of that attitude and culture starts with you in your church — explaining the misconceptions and truths about people like me. It is not knowing that makes people react the way they do.
Offer to bring recently out-of-prison people to church or help them find a good church near them.
Always keep your eyes and ears open for clothes. That is the biggest need when we come up.
Donations are great.
The last thing, but not the least important, is to pray faithfully for us. Nothing is better than prayer.
I am available to speak in your churches if you would like, to help people understand how these United Methodist prison ministries are making a difference. I do not have transportation though and I live in the Heritage Hill area of Grand Rapids, Mich.
Thank you for reading my story. May it help you understand the journey of someone out of prison a little better.
I cannot express enough how important mentoring is to us and to our successful re-entry into society and if you are an employer, take the chance on employing one of us. Take the tax credit and let us get bonded so you are protected. Giving someone a chance may be the thing that brings the biggest smile to your face when you see us succeed.
God Bless all of you!
0 comments:
Post a Comment