• By RJ Walters, Editor •
“To Facebook or not to Facebook?” is no longer really the question with 500 million active users spending over 700 billion minutes a month on the online community as of March 1.
The more appropriate question for United Methodist Church leaders and spiritual mentors in the 21st century is: “How do we responsibly deal with the social and ethical dilemmas that arise in the local church through the use of mediums like Facebook and Twitter?”
It’s a question that brings with it hundreds more questions, but a continuing dialogue and fervent prayer is a good place to start, according to the Rev. Tommy Boutell of Marne UMC, a computer network engineer in his previous career.
Boutell led a workshop looking at online scenarios that regular pop up in the life of church leaders as part of Bishop’s Day 2011 at Grand Rapids FUMC.
With everyone from young 20-somethings to 77-year old retired pastor the Rev. Dick Youells joining the discussion, the message was clear: there’s no avoiding social media in executing the mission of the United Methodist Church, but there is more gray than black and white to the matter.
The connectional aspect of social media
“As a pastor you almost just want to be on Facebook to see what’s going on in your church community,” Boutel said. “But also consider that people use Facebook as a place to dump their emotions without the regular verbal consequences or normal cues an adult might offer.”
One adult leader of a youth group at a West Michigan church said he has more contact with the youth through Facebook than any other medium, including face-to-face.
He said many times he will only physically see youth once or twice a week, but Facebook allows for ongoing conversations.
“Facebook is the only way to communicate with all my kids at youth group. I could spend all day calling and texting and would get nowhere near the response I get on Facebook,” he said. “Without using Facebook I would just be sitting by myself at youth group on a Saturday night.”
Wading through virtual storms
It only takes one off-color comment or concerning online post to take social media from fun and informal to complex, for clergy in particular.
Boutell asked those attending the workshop to consider their responses to several very palpable scripts everyday social networking can follow.
One example he used was a 32-year old youth leader going through a messy divorce, who feels his spouse is lying to him. Boutell said maybe he’s had a “glass of wine or two, so he’s giving the world a glimpse of his feelings on the Internet.”
Another example showed a 16-year old parishioner with no regular church attendance lamenting the pain of a recent breakup with harsh expletives and a firm exclamation to be left alone.
“We as caregivers see these everyday. What if someone really was ready to put an end to all this and they had a plan and the means, and we see something that might signify that online?” Boutell said. “How do we try to be the light of Christ and how with 700-plus friends do we determine where to draw a line and try to determine an online post should be an alarm or is purely cathartic?”
One youth leader said they always try to remember that youth and young adults communicate with a distinct online jargon that sometimes appears more intense than the true emotions behind it.
“I also do everything in a context with a paper trail so there’s something to go back to as a situation arises,” she said.
Another youth leader suggested responses should always be tied to an existing relationship with someone because “you don’t want to push someone away by diving into deep before you have the right relationship with them.”
When to hold your keyboard stroke
Boutell said he tries to keep the wisdom of Matthew 18 close to heart when choosing whether or not to get involved in a potentially delicate online dialogue:
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’” (Matthew 18: 15-16, New International Version)
To illustrate his point, Boutell referred to fictional online posts from pastors that could be portrayed as sarcastic or frustrated toward a particular sect of his/her congregation. He also mentioned how simple things such as event invitations that church secretaries post on a church’s website or Facebook page should be moderated because they could unintentionally have political or theological undertones that may throw coals on a fire.
“I think a dialogue has to be started in our churches so we can be educated and understand how to react,” Boutell said. “Church staffs should set boundaries and rules and teach about the role of online media and social networking in their congregation.”
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